


Mud Splattered Hobbits and Lovestruck Dwarves

by meddlesomewiz



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF!Bilbo, Bilbo just wants a handkerchief, Fili falls in love, M/M, sorry about the excited Kili, the working title for this was "sword courtship"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2143785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meddlesomewiz/pseuds/meddlesomewiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Smaug was defeated by the combined forces of Elves, Humans, and Dwarves on the day he attacked Erebor and Dale. To commemorate the day of victory against the dragon, there is a tournament held annually in Erebor. This year the tournament takes an unexpected turn when the Hobbits enter into the tournament and Fili finds himself falling for the small Hobbit fighting his way through the competitors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mud Splattered Hobbits and Lovestruck Dwarves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenbach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenbach/gifts).



“Fíli! Come on we're gonna be late!” Kíli tugged on his brother's thick sleeves as he made his way through the crowd. The young dwarf was smiling bright while he looked back at his brother. 

“You never are worried about being late for something like lessons. Why the rush now? It's not like we will be the ones competing.” Fíli huffed a little. The Tournament took place every year on the anniversary of the death of Smaug the Terrible. Today was the day of the Tournament and representatives from all over Middle Earth were sent to compete against each other. 

Fíli kicked out his foot a little in a royal fit as he was dragged by Kíli toward the arena. Royalty were not allowed to compete. The only consolation that Fíli could not prove his worth against humans and elves alike was that neither could Prince Legolas. A small smile stretched across Fíli's face as he thought about how last year Legolas complained about how the dwarven victor could be easily beat by him. 

“The tournament is nothing like lessons,” Kíli shivered as he thought about the horror of history and etiquette. 

Fíli laughed, “They are exactly the same. In both Dwalin smashes heads together.” 

Kíli let out a brash laugh as he slapped Fíli in the back, “But this time it isn't us.” The brothers' laughter rang through the crowd. Many heads turned to them. While most commoners would balk at walking beside royalty, but this was Kíli and Fíli and most of these unsuspecting spectators had been victim to their boredom and trickery. 

“Look, there's Mum.” Kíli waved excitedly over at Dis as they made their way through the crowd to their mother. 

Dis was regally dressed, unlike her sons. Fur and a coat lined with gold adorned her as she lounged waiting for her sons. Without breaking her bored expression, Dis greeted her sons, “And where in Mahal have you been?” 

Fíli and Kíli stood before Dis, each with a grin of chagrin on their face. “We're here now though, aren't we?” Fíli offered. While he may not care to be late to annoy his brother, he would prefer to not suffer any punishment his mother would dole out onto him. 

Dis just shook her head before turning away from her boys, “Come along then.” 

Following after their mother, the boys went up to the stands reserved for the dwarven royalty. Kíli whispered into Fíli's ear, “See, uncle isn't even here yet.” They took their seats beside the large throne reserved for Thorin. Fíli sat on the right beside the thrown, with Kíli next to him and Dis on the other side of the thrown. 

“That is because the kings are seated once it begins. Couldn't have them deal with the rabble of the unruly crowds now could we.” Dis shouted at her sons. 

“Mother are you sure you aren't part elf? I am certain dwarf hearing shouldn't be that precise.” Fíli shouted back at his mother before turning and ruffling his brothers hair, “It would explain someones love for some sticks and string.” 

Kíli indignantly swatted at his brother, “The bow is the perfect weapon for long range combat. I can fell many enemies before you can even swing at one with one of your swords.” 

“Boys.”

“Yes, Mother,” The boys responded in unison as they stopped roughhousing and tried to look like the dignitaries they were supposed to be. 

A loud horn announced the beginning of the Tournament. Humans and dwarves all raised their voices in cheers and shouts as they proceedings began on there way. The elves were all calmly awaiting, except for a few that were just as exuberant as the rest of the crowd. 

A dwarf stepped out into the arena. Holding his hands up as the crowds cheering intensified. Suddenly his hands went down and the crowd quieted down. The dwarf smirked at the crowd. His big floppy hat seemed to has as much character as he did. “Welcome all to the Tournament in commemoration of when everyone in Middle Earth banded together to defeat the furnace with wings and the evil hordes minions.”

The crowd's laughed was echoed throughout the arena. 

“Please bow to your rulers as their entrance commences the tournament. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. They should try my hat, it's actually quite light and isn't made of metal!” More laughter from the crowd resounded.

“Quiet down now! First, we have the humans with King Bard!” Bofur raised his hand to point to the human delegation with King Bard heading them. 

“Then the elves with the illustrious King Thranduil!” King Thranduil bowed his head as Bofur introduced him. 

“And my personal favorite, King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield!” The crowd went wild as Thorin stepped out. He came to his appointed thrown. Sitting down he looked over at the other kings and nodded towards them. The others answered back. 

As the crowd petered out Bofur raised his hand again to point to the next faction. Fíli frowned as he looked at his brother and saw a matching expression of confusion upon his face. 

“And finally, last but certainly not least, I would not get between one of them and their meal, the Hobbits!” The crowd became entirely silent. Everyone craned their heads in the direction that Bofur had pointed. Fíli and Kíli got up out of their seats to pear at the Hobbits. 

Clearing his throat, Bofur continued, “I would bet that most of you in the arena have seen more dragons than you have hobbits. So feast your eyes!” 

Fíli looked at them curiously. The hobbits were small in size, especially compared the elves they were situated next to. Each one had a mop of curly hair on their head. 

“Bofur?” Thorin's voice rang throughout the arena. Many of the occupants had been caught up in staring at the creatures, even Bofur it seemed. 

“My apologies your majesty,” Bofur sent a lopsided grin towards the king, he straightened his apparel as he felt the full weight of Thorin's stare. “Let the Tournament commence!” The crowd rallied at the beginning of the fights. 

Fíli and Kíli sat back down in the their seats. Fíli looked to his uncle for an answer about the hobbits, his brow was drawn in a frown. 

Thorin sighed, “Leave it, Fíli.” 

“But they can't possibly be able to compete. Look at the size of-” Fíli was cut off by a monstrous glare from his uncle. 

Fíli turned back to the tournament. He would just have to hope that no hobbit would be harmed during the fights. A small hope in Fíli flickered that supposed the hobbits could just be here for the festivities and not to compete. Still, at least Fíli was able to see a fabled hobbit in the flesh. He had imagined they would look more like pixies and not like orcs. Maybe Fíli could conspire with Kíli to kidnap one so they could check them out. 

Bofur's voice brought Fíli out of his thoughts. The first fight was announced. Dwalin was fighting a human. Fíli smiled over at Kíli as the excitement of an upcoming battle, even if it was one for entertainment, was rushing over him. It was always a nice reminder to see that someone was taller than Dwalin and could fight head to toe with him. 

The sharp clang of metal on metal reverberated through the arena and signaled the beginning of the fight. Throughout the fights Fíli's gaze continued to stray to the contestant stands. He was trying to find any hobbit competitors. He was not disappointed when his eyes caught on a small head of golden curls. Fíli's eyes widened as he took in the hobbit. Unlike the dwarves and men, the hobbit seemed to not have on any armor to speak of. He was in a waistcoat, for Mahal's sake! Well at least Fíli assumed the hobbit was a 'he', the other hobbits in the stands seemed to be either dressed like him or in a dress. The hobbit looked more like he was prepared for afternoon tea and not to be bashed in the head by Dwalin. 

Fíli found himself frowning at the hobbit. Before he could change his expression to something less menacing, the hobbit locked eyes with Fíli. The young dwarf found his breath caught in his throat as he was caught staring at the hobbit. The hobbit's gaze was strong and unwavering as he looked at Fíli. Then the hobbit started to glare back at Fíli before crossing his arms across his chest. Fíli looked away as his cheeks warmed with embarrassment. 

Fíli was starting to feel guilty about glaring at someone he hardly knew for no reason, but then he remembered he was a prince and a nameless hobbit should not make him feel like that. Looking back at the hobbit, Fíli saw that he was no longing staring at Fíli but was still in a huff. Fíli let a smile form on his face as he looked on. The hobbit had fire in his veins that was certain. 

“What's wrong, why are you flushed?” Kíli shouted at his brother over the roar of the crowd. Kíli quickly looked from Fíli to the center of the arena to see what he missed. Dwalin had the human on the ground and weaponless. The human nodded his assent as Dwalin stood above him with his hammers raised threateningly waiting for surrender. 

Fíli and Kíli cheered as their uncle yelled out in victory before helping the human up out of the dirt. After Dwalin and the human contestant cleared the arena, two more contestants came onto the field. This time it was the hobbit against an elf. 

The hobbit slowly walked out into the arena. He held up his hand to shield his eyes against the glare of the lights while he looked out in the crowd. He briefly looked over in Fíli's direction before looking over at the other hobbits. Many of the hobbits were on their feet and cheering on the hobbit. The hobbit smiled and waved over at the hobbits in the stands. Turning back to the elf, the hobbit raised his sword toward the elf. The elf mimicked the gesture and raised his twin blades. 

Fíli was at the edge of his seat as he stared unblinkingly at the center of the arena. 

Match after match, opponents fell and others succeeded. What surprised Fíli the most was how well the hobbit was doing. He had strengths that the others did not and were not used to battling against. One by one they all fell to the hobbit's sword. Until finally, drawing near the end of the day only two were left: Dwalin and the hobbit. Dwalin and the hobbit would fight the next day, but until then feasts will be held to honor all the combatants. 

Kíli smiled over at Fíli as they both stood up from the stands. “Who would have thought that the little hobbit would do so well?” Fíli commented to his brother as nonchalantly as he could. Dis and Thorin joined the boys as they made their way to the feast. 

“Well I heard that he defeated three trolls on his way here!” Kíli said. 

“And where did you hear that?” Dis raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her son. 

“Nori told me during the break.” Kíli smiled innocently at his mother, “He also said that the hobbit has mithril armor.” 

“Fascinating.” Thorin's gruff voice interrupted Kíli. “Save your excitement for the feast, the hobbit will be within reach soon enough.” 

Fíli piped up, “Can the hobbit sit next to use Uncle?” 

Thorin looked over at his heir with an assessing gaze. His eyes narrowed as he tried to work out any mischievous schemes the boys could get up to. 

“I just want to ask him about his strategy,” Fíli insisted. 

“Bedroom strategy?” Kíli asked. 

“Oi!” Fíli smacked Kíli up side the head.

“I saw how you were looking at him Fíli.” Kíli insisted. Then he smirked at his older brother before continuing, “I also saw how you both looked at each other and you blushed.” Kíli's tone was teasing and light as he went out of arm's reach from his brother out of fear of retaliation. 

Thorin sighed. “Please boys, just don't do anything to damage our relationship with the hobbits. We will be conducting trade negotiations after the Tournament is over.” 

Fíli looked helpless as he tried to insist to his family that he was not interested in just bedding the hobbit. Though the thought had constantly come to mind as he watched the hobbit fight harder and harder. If he was to be honest with himself, Fíli may have started to fall for the hobbit after the hobbit had glared at him. 

The royal family came up to the hall the feast would be held in. They took their seats at the end of the large table. All the delegations would be siting there amongst the combatants. Fíli had to make sure, without seeming to insistent of course, that he wanted the hobbit to sit next to him and Kíli. 

Siting down, Fíli looked around the hall for the hobbit. He saw Dwalin and Balin, Bofur was there too, along with Nori. No sight of the hobbit though. His eye caught Prince Legolas though. The elven prince nodded at Fíli respectfully, and Fíli followed his gesture. 

But then, something bright and gold caught Fíli's eye. He turned expecting to see someones fine craftsmanship. But it was not. It was the hobbit.

The hobbit walked into the hall. His golden locks shining in the light. His face was spattered in mud, along with his fine garments. The hobbit brought a hand up to his hair, to push back what had fallen in front of his eyes, but then he caught sight of his hand. His hand was just as dirty as the fest of him. Sighing, the hobbit brushed his dirty hand on his equally dirty pants before venturing further into the hall. 

“Master Hobbit!” Fíli found himself yelling. 

The hobbit stopped dead in his tracks, before searching the room for the source of yelling. His eyes landed on Fíli. A scowl formed on his face when he recognized the dwarf from the arena. The hobbit flitted his gaze over to the side of Fíli where Thorin was at the head of the table, before looking back at Fíli. The hobbit begrudgingly made his way over to Fíli. 

“What did you do already Fíli?” Thorin chuckled at his nephew's expense. 

“Nothing. I don't even know his name!” Fíli shouted. Kíli and Thorin started our right laughing at Fíli now. 

A small clearing of throat made Fíli jump. “My name is Bilbo Baggins of Bag End.” The hobbit's voice was clipped and formal as he informed Fíli. "It is an honor to meet you Master Dwarf, but if you insist on staring at me during the whole tournament like you did today, I demand to know your name." Bilbo wrinkled his nose a bit as glared at Fíli.

"This is my brother, Fíli. Usually he can talk on his own, but you must be a wizard Master Hobbit because you have stolen his tongue." Kili smiled at Bilbo before bowing to him. "And I am Kíli, at your service." 

"And why can he not speak to me. He certainly stared at me long enough." Bilbo muttered. Fíli noticed a blush under the mud on the hobbit's face. 

Dropping into a bow, Fíli took the hobbit's hand and bent his head to kiss it. Without letting go of the muddy hand, Fíli looked up at Bilbo. "Your ethereal beauty and prowess on the field of battle have taken the very breath from me." 

Bilbo's blush was even more noticeable now as he became bashful at the attention Fíli was giving him. 

Bilbo's blush was even more noticeable now as he became bashful at the attention Fíli was giving him. Then suddenly Bilbo's face shuttered as he shook his head to dispel his flustered feeling. “You were scowling at me,” Bilbo retched his hand away from Fíli and placed both hands on his hips as he glared at Fíli. 

Fíli was taken aback at the ferocity of the hobbit. Bilbo was a vision to Fíli. His mud caked body, his untouched hair, his ire in his eyes. “Marry me?” Fíli said breathlessly. 

“What?” Bilbo stopped short.

“What!” Eavesdropping dwarves shouted.

Fíli's heart sank as he observed Bilbo's reaction to his question. While it might not have been princely to ask the hobbit he just met to become the spouse of a future king, it still hurt. Standing up straight so that he could loom over the hobbit, Fíli looked down at Bilbo with all the royal bearing he could muster.

“I stand by my question.” Fíli dared Bilbo with his eyes, “Unless, of course, you are too scared.” 

Bilbo's eyes widened and his mouth dropped in shock. Seething, Bilbo lunged forward and harshly poked Fíli in the chest, “I-am-not-scared.” 

“Prove it.” Fíli smirked as he was provoking Bilbo. They were now very close. Bilbo's blue eyes burned with anger. Fíli's eyes dropped to Bilbo's lips. He traced the outline slowly as he took in Bilbo. Bringing his gaze back up to Bilbo's eyes, Fíli saw that the hobbit had got just as distracted. Fíli licked his lips slightly. Bilbo fell for the trap and watched Fíli's tongue dart out. 

Bilbo realized what Fíli was trying to provoke, he looked indignantly at Fíli. Bringing his hand up, Bilbo delivered a quick smack to Fíli's cheek. 

Fíli's head whipped backwards at the force of the slap. His eyes bored into Bilbo's as he felt his stinging cheek. Surging forward, Fíli grabbed up Bilbo and smashed their lips together. Their mouths met violently as they kissed and nipped at each others lips. Mud streaked hands came up to Fíli's face and roughly pulled at his hair. 

Fíli called out in pain at the yanking of his hair. Spinning around, the young dwarf pushed Bilbo onto the top of the table. Following the hobbit with his body, Fíli started placing kisses all along Bilbo's body. 

Only a clearing of a throat was able to stop the frenzy of lust between the dwarf and hobbit. Halting their ministrations, Bilbo and Fíli looked over at the source of the noise. Fíli was just over the hobbit's belly and Bilbo was strewn across the table. They were both looking at Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain. 

“Would you prefer us to wait until after you are done with your courtship dance, or will you let us eat in peace.” Thorin asked calmly.

Bilbo started slapping at Fíli to get off of him. Fíli quickly got up off of Bilbo and offered his hand to his hobbit. 

“I am sorry your majesty. I am not quite sure what came over me.” Bilbo apologized. 

“I can, it was Fíli. We saw the whole thing.” Kíli snorted as he offered help in jogging Bilbo's memory. 

Bilbo's glare cowed Kíli in looking almost ashamed. 

Fíli grabbed Bilbo's hand as he smirked down at his hobbit, “We need to hammer out the specifics for our courtship.” Fíli emphasized 'hammer' as his heated gaze locked with Bilbo's. “Don't expect us until next week.”

Bilbo slowly extracted his hand from Fíli's. “I am not missing a meal.” Bilbo looked at Fíli as if he had lost his head. “Now sit down and eat, we can discuss your confounding notions of courtship after supper.” 

Fíli groaned, “We aren't married yet, you can't just boss me-” Fíli tapered off as Bilbo glared at him. “Yes. Right. Supper first. Then dessert.”


End file.
